 Postat: tor okt 04, 2007 11:42 pm Rubrik: |
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| Hej Laura,
Ja den var bra! 
Det finns nog några olika varianter på den här. Jag tycker mig också ha hört en där slutet var lite annorlunda, men jag kommer inte ihåg hur. Elisabet |
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| Postat: tor okt 04, 2007 12:08 pm Rubrik: |
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| Elisabet,
Anekdoterna tycks cirkulera i olika versioner, jag har nämligen hört följande: Dessa fyra höll på att läsa tidegärden när det blev mörkt. Benediktinen fortsatte med läsningen eftersom han kunde texten utantill...franciskanen föll på knä och började lovprisa Broder sol...dominikanen började hålla föredrag om electricitetens innersta väsen...och jesuiten gjorde som du skrev ovan! |
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| Postat: ons okt 03, 2007 10:25 pm Rubrik: |
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| En benediktin, en dominikan, en franciskan och en jesuit satt i samma läsesal och läste och skrev under tystnad.
Plötsligt blev det kolmörkt i rummet. Alla fyra satt tysta och väntade i tron att det var tillfälligt el-avbrott och ljuset snart skulle komma tillbaka. Efter en stund reste sig Jesuiten, trevade sig fram till utgången, gick ut och smällde igen dörren efter sig. Benediktinen försjönk i bön. Dominikanen började känna sig fram på väggarnas hyllor för att söka rätt på tändstickor och stearinljus för att kunna finna någon bok som kunde ge praktiska råd i hur han skulle förfara. Franciskanen var så trött efter dagens arbete att han omdelbart föll i djup sömn... En lång, lång tid förflöt. Så med ens flödade salen i ljus! Strax därefter kom jesuiten in, borstade dammet av sina kläder och sa: Såja, det tog lite tid innan jag äntligen fick tag på en ny propp. Elisabet |
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| Postat: tis sep 04, 2007 2:57 pm Rubrik: Tips på tecknad humor |
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| Om ni har missat den här, kolla in! http://www.reverendfun.com/
En annan bra, med miljötema: http://www.rustletheleaf.com Skratta gott!  |
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| Postat: sön sep 02, 2007 5:39 pm Rubrik: |
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| Hej Lena!
Grattis! Och välkommen hem. Du är en frisk fläkt! Gert |
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| Postat: sön sep 02, 2007 5:34 pm Rubrik: Klassiker? |
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| Vet ni vad det är för skillnad mellan mig och en tiger?
Tigern är kattlik, och jag är kat(t)olik! 
(blev återupptagen idag, hurra! vill tacka er, och särskilt Gert, för att ni påminde mig om att det är Gud som avgör vems tro som "duger", det hjälpte mig att våga komma tillbaka) Apropå humor, är det någon mer än jag som har en tendens att tänka på underkläder när det dyker upp ord som trosfrågor, trosbekännelse med mera? Eftersom det finns en till Lena på forumet kanske jag förresten bör påpeka att det inte är jag. Jag är en annan Lena, en LenaA.  |
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| Postat: sön aug 19, 2007 11:47 am Rubrik: |
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| Eftersom katolska kyrkan är allmännelig så kan även Norge här införlivas.
Min favoritNorgehistoria Norrmannen som ville komma in i Guiness rekordbok som "världens snabbaste på att lägga pussel." På frågan hur han kan bevisa det, svarade norrmannen " Jo jag la ett pussel som det stod 2-4 år på, på 6 månader." // Irène |
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| Postat: fre aug 17, 2007 10:53 pm Rubrik: |
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| THE SIN OF LYING
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying." ************************************************************ The Pope Visits New York The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?" The driver is understandably hesistant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that." But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up. "Oh, all right, I can't really say no to the Pope." So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over. The cop walks up and asks the Pope to roll down the window. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief. Cop: Chief, I have a problem. Chief: What sort of problem? Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit but it's someone really important. Chief: Important like the mayor? Cop: No, no, much more important than that. Chief: Important like the governor? Cop: Wayyyyyy more important than that. Chief: Like the president? Cop: More. Chief: Who's more important than the president? Cop: I don't know, but he's got the Pope DRIVING for him! Irène |
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| Postat: fre aug 17, 2007 10:33 pm Rubrik: En klassiker |
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| Klassiker
THEOLOGICAL DEBATE Scholars have long debated the exact ethnicity and nationality of Jesus. Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate on this subject. One by one, they offered their evidence............. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS MEXICAN: 1. His first name was Jesus 2. He was bilingual 3. He was always being harassed by the authorities But then there were equally good arguments that..... JESUS WAS BLACK 1. He called everybody "brother" 2. He liked Gospel 3. He couldn't get a fair trial But then there were equally good arguments that....... JESUS WAS JEWISH 1. He went into His Father's business 2. He lived at home until he was 33 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God But then there were equally good arguments that....... JESUS WAS ITALIAN 1. He talked with his hands 2. He had wine with every meal 3. He used olive oil But then there were equally good arguments that....... JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN 1. He never cut his hair 2. He walked around barefoot 3. He started a new religion But then there were equally good arguments that....... JESUS WAS IRISH 1. He never got married 2. He was always telling stories 3. He loved green pastures But perhaps the most compelling evidence ......... THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN ..... 1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food 2. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who JUST DIDN'T GET IT 3. Even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for him to do. Irène |
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| Postat: fre aug 17, 2007 10:24 pm Rubrik: |
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| LENTEN HUMOR
An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers. Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you always order three beers?" 'Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have two brothers, and one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping up the family bond." The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him drink. Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening - he orders only two beers. The word flies around town. Prayers are offered for the soul of one of the brothers. The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You know-the two beers and all..." The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have decided to give up drinking for Lent." Irène |
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| Postat: fre aug 17, 2007 10:20 pm Rubrik: |
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| Two Priests On Vacation
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc. The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare and when she passed them, she smiled and said, "Good morning, Father" - "Good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests? The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits-these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them-and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc. After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.) Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: "Good morning, Father," "Good morning Father," and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn't stand it and said. "Just a minute, young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?" "Oh, Father, don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Angela!" Irène |
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| Postat: fre aug 17, 2007 10:15 pm Rubrik: |
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| Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, "Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone."
The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman. Jesus looks over and says, "I really hate it when you do that, Mom." ********************************************************** The Holy Family A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?" The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary. ********************************************************* Pancakes A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw an opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait." Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!" ************************************************************ The Dead Seagull A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?" Irène |
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| Postat: fre aug 17, 2007 9:59 pm Rubrik: |
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| A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a wee dog that he loved and doted on. After many long years of faithful companionship, the dog finally died, so Muldoon went to the parish priest:
"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a Mass for him?" Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog's death. But, unfortunately, I can't say Mass for the poor creature..." Muldoon said, "I understand, Father, I do. I guess I'll go to this new denomination down the road; no tellin' what they believe... Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick: "Why didn't you tell me your wee dog was Catholic?!" +++ Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes," said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Doberman Jesus." +++ A priest and a bus driver both died and went to Heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where Pope St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door. There are about 50 acres of rolling hills with a little cottage on the knoll. St. Peter turns to the priest and says "This will be yours for eternity. A perfect little cottage, right next to lovely pond, a lush little garden, and a library full of books." The priest says, "Thank you so much. This I shall enjoy!" St. Peter drops off the priest, goes back to the pearly gates and motions to the bus driver. They hop in a stretch limo and go out the front door. There are about 500 acres of land, with mountains and lakes and rivers. There is a huge 200-room castle on one of the mountains, and a wishing well that makes wishes come true. St. Peter says "This will be yours for eternity. You can live in that castle with servants to wait on you hand and foot, and you can have everything you want." The bus driver looks and St. Peter and says "Well, now, don't think I'm not grateful, but why am I getting so much more than the priest?" St. Peter just laughs and says "You brought more souls to Heaven! When the priest preached, everyone fell asleep. When you drove your bus, people prayed!" |
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| Postat: fre aug 17, 2007 4:24 pm Rubrik: |
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| Det är så sant som det är sagt
Rundabordssamtal mellan olika trosriktningar. Temat som just diskuteras är frågan när livet börjar. - Vid konceptionsögonblicket naturligtvis säger den katolske prästen. -Nej vid födelsen säger någon annan. Ni har båda fel säger en tredje röst, Livet börjar när fostrets hjärta börjar slå i tredje månaden. Så lutar sig rabbinen framåt och säger eftertänksamt: "Ni har alla fel. Livet börjar när yngsta barnet flyttat hemifrån och hunden som barnen lämnat efter sig dör." Irène Nordgren |
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| Postat: fre aug 17, 2007 3:56 pm Rubrik: |
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| Efter att ha varit med om sin lillebrors dop storgrät lille Johan hjärtskärande hela vägen hem från kyrkan. Pappa frågade honom gång på gång vad det som var så hemskt. Till slut svarade lille Johan snyftande : "Jo prästen sa ju att han ville att jag och min lillebror skulle växa upp i ett kristet hem, men jag vill ju stanna hemma hos er. "
Irène Nordgren |
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